Nerd (by Veronica McDonald)

Timmy wore the word “NERD” on him
thick and stinking like bilge water
like being smart and following the rules
(the ones teachers policed like lawmen)
was a bad thing, a bad smell, like Timmy’s warm
Waldorf salad breath.
He wanted a friend but couldn’t find one
in the forest of baby-joy as he picked through the trees
with an ax that had a steel handle marked by hard FACT
‘cuz the kids scatter at his noise like willow-o-the-wisps
blinking and disappearing in the corners
of his squinting eyes.
He has black lettuce stuck between his front teeth
when he tells a girl in his class about the scientific
impossibility of Santa Claus, and of his bringing toys to every
child in the world and that even if reindeer could fly
the physics of it all was just ludicrous. Think of the speed
in which he would have to travel, and even with the time-zone changes
his body would not physically be able to withstand the speed.
And the girl looks at him and nods and feels a revolted pity
as he fidgets with nervous fingers through the magic dust
on his desk, peering into his electron microscope.
She tells him there’s food in his teeth and Timmy turns red
dark red, redder than the girl thought possible
redder than Santa’s hat, and she comes to the horrifying
realization that it was all said to impress her.
Mrs. Sanders creeps up behind them and grabs Timmy’s shoulder
(like she owns his intelligence and all that comes with it)
and tells him to go back to his microscope
while she chuckles in her mind at the thought
that one day Timmy will be CEO of the world
and the rest of the kids who teased and ignored him
and called him “lettuce-teeth-Tim”
will regret that they did not also conduct a scientific investigation
into the impossibility of Santa Claus
and that she, Mrs. Sanders, alone could revel in the inevitability
of Timmy’s future success and her small but vital role in it all.
Timmy obeys because he must, and goes back to his microscope
but in the corner of his eye he watches
as the girl drifts away like mist
and floats out of the classroom window —
open just a crack for the possibility of a breeze —
away into the sky behind a cloud
to meet the hidden Sun.

Photo credit: “Child Leaning on His Elbow” by Paul Helleu (Public Domain)